Hey,
Life isn’t all sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll–unfortunately. But struggles and down times make us think, focus and solve problems. It also forces us and our government to re-evaluate past actions. Maybe we can once again focus on freedom.
Here’s what Chopper Dave wrote: What should we do? Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, expect a miracle… Educate ourselves and share with our neighbors. Oh yeah as for me, go for a motorcycle ride…
Let’s hit the news:
AMA Riding announces five AMA Grand Tours for 2009 March 10, 2009– The AMA Grand Tours Series with KOA Along the Way is growing this year, offering even more fun for riders all over the United States. This year’s Grand Tours will challenge, surprise and entertain riders, while giving them an excellent excuse to see some of the country’s best roads and most interesting places. “We had a great season in 2008, with more riders joining more of our tours than ever,” said AMA Riding’s Dave Hembroff. “This year, we are expanding the opportunities for riders to experience the fun and excitement of these self-directed riding competitions.” AMA Grand Tours are unique road-riding contests that lay out a unique list of requirements and a deadline by which participants must complete them. The events are popular because they allow riders to accomplish the goals on their own schedule and at their own pace.
The AMA Grand Tours Series continues to grow with the backing of Kampgrounds of America (KOA) and the series’ other prize sponsors. Five AMA-chartered riding clubs will each present a uniquely themed Grand Tour.
discount card for stays at KOA Kampgrounds in the United States and Canada, as well as other gifts from the promoting clubs. All riders who finish an AMA Grand Tours Series with KOA Along the Way event will earn one entry in the series grand prize drawing to be held in December. Riders who complete at least four of the five Grand Tours will receive a Master Grand Tourer certificate from AMA Riding, as well as an extra entry into the grand prize drawing.
More information, as well as an online sign-up form, can be found at www.amadirectlink.com/roadride/GrandTours09.asp. Or, e-mail AMA Riding’s Hembroff at dhembroff@ama-cycle.org.
BIKERNET UNIVERSITY STUDIES SOCIAL STUDIES– Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
– (a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
– (b) C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
– (c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK–“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.” Booker T. Washington, quoted in United Press International.–The Week Magazine
ON BECOMING ILLEGAL–YOU’LL LOVE THIS– FORMS ARE GOING FAST- SIGN UP TODAY!
Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510
Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as ‘in-state’ tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach ‘illegal alien’ status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )
–Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA
Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040.
–from Jim Waggaman
CP Kustoms Cross Country Chopper Giveaway – Former WWE Super Star, Pro-Wrestler Chuck Palumbo, to ride in The Horse Smoke Out Ten and raise money for charity– May 8 & 9 at the Verde Valley Fairgrounds, Cottonwood, AZ – Chuck Palumbo will take part in The Horse Smoke Out Ten?s Long Road, a 2,000-mile bike run from Cottonwood, AZ to Rockingham, NC as part of his fundraising efforts for our injured brave military men and women back home from Iraq. ?It was shocking to see the condition of our soldiers who have suffered injuries in Iraq. We all hear about it but until you step foot in a military hospital room, it doesn’t hit you.?
After visiting Walter Reed Hospital in D.C. and learning of Lt. Christopher Palumbo?s (Chuck?s younger brother) heroic efforts in Iraq, in which he was awarded the Silver Star, Chuck was inspired to do something special to thank our troops. From his CP Kustoms bike shop in San Diego, Chuck Palumbo decided to build and donate ?The War Machine.? ?I?m going to build a bike, ride it across country and give it away. It?s that simple!?
The chopper will be displayed at the run?s two-day launch party in Cottonwood, AZ on Friday, May 8 beginning at 4pm, and continues on Saturday, May 9 at 10am. Following the launch party Chuck will ride across country on ?The War Machine? to The Horse Smoke Out Ten in Rockingham, NC. Tickets for a chance to win this handcrafted CP Kustoms original can be purchased at the launch party events and also at the posted Long Run stops across the country. One lucky ticket holder will win ?The War Machine? when the raffle drawing is held at the end of the run at the Rockingham Drag strip in Rockingham, NC on Saturday, May 16. The ticket holder need not be present to win.
Anyone unable to attend the festivities of the Long Road Run or the Horse Smoke Out Ten still has a chance to win the ?War Machine.? Just visit www.cpkustoms.com to purchase raffle tickets online. Monitor the progress of Chuck?s War Machine by visiting the CP Kustoms website. Donations will also be accepted online.
The purpose of this run is not only for riders to join in on the run or participate at the cross country parties, but to create awareness of the hardships of some of our biggest heroes who have returned from Iraq and to help raise much needed money for their recovery. Remember to be there on Fri, May 8 for the unveiling of Chuck?s chopper creation, the party, and great activities to follow in this two-day launch party send-off. It?s going to be a memorable event that should not be missed!
Horse Smoke Out Rally dates and posted stops:
Fri, May 8 & Sat, May 9 ? Cottonwood, AZ (Two-day Launch Party)
Sun, May 10 ? ride approx 506 miles to Santa Rosa, NM
Mon, May 11 ? ride 427 miles to Oklahoma City, OK
Tues, May 12 ? ride approx 243 miles to Clarksville, AR
Wed, May 13 ? ride approx 440 miles to Nashville, TN
Thru, May 14 ? ride approx 290 miles to Asheville, NC
Fri, May 15 ? ride 200 miles to Rockingham, NC for the final 2 days of the Smoke Out Rally
For more detailed information on ?The Horse Smoke Out Ten? visit www.smokeoutrally.com
Contact:
Chuck Palumbo ? 619-977-4884
Email: chuck@cpkustoms.com
www.cpkustoms.com
BIKERNET MEDICAL CENTER NURSE INTERVIEWED– A very tired Bikernet nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a *_rectal thermometer_* out of her purse and tries to write with it.
When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says: ‘Well, that’s great….that’s just great…. Some asshole’s got my pen!’
–from Vern
BIKE ASIAN PLANNING SECOND EVENT– Thanks for the reply and we have just completed BikeAsia 2009, which turns out well considered with the tough recession going on. I am sure we can explore more for the next 2010, where we can reach out to more American companies.
–Ms. Jermaine Tan
BikeAsia Pte Ltd
400 Orchard Road #21-06 Orchard Towers,
Singapore 238875
Tel : +65 6735 9595
Fax : +65 6737 6200
Email : bikeasia@bikeasia.org
BIKEASIA INTERNATIONAL BICYCLE & MOTORCYCLE EXHIBITION will be held in Singapore from the 27th February to 1st March 2009. For more information http://www.bikeasia.org
BIKERNET MEDICAL CENTER PARTNERS WITH DR. WEIL–Pink Lentil Curry: Lentils are a wonderful source of protein, calcium and iron. They are a staple ingredient in Indian cooking, and combine well with many different seasonings.
LE PERA unleashes the ?VILLAIN?– LePera is often referred to as the finest, truly custom motorcycle seat manufacturer, but one thing they are never called is boring! Once again in ?09 they have taken seat design to another level with the introduction of the head turning new ?VILLAIN?. Designed to provide exceptional comfort and a low lean appearance the new VILLAIN leaves a shadowy almost sinister impression.
Designed for 2008-2009 Road Kings, Street Glide and Dresser machines LePera?s VILLAIN is like nothing you?ve seen before. If you demand the finest quality, comfort, durability and unique styling you need look no further.
Suggested retail is $508.00 and you can order direct by calling 818-767-5110 or visit the complete LePera line up at www.lepera.com
THREE STATES CURRENTLY REVIEWING HELMET REPEALS–Another State is in the middle of repealing helmet laws altogether also, Missouri.
— “Steve “BREWdude” Garn”
BREWdude@brewracingframes.com>
NOTES ON THE NORTH CAROLINA HELMET LAW– Just a quick note from me on the NC helmet law. Recently only 1 helmet Company, that I know of, has a helmet that passes this law. I talked to the company and they had to RAISE prices on their helmets to cover this. I have a helmet that is aproved by DOT, Snell, Bonneville Speed Trials and allows me also to race and attend track days. Yet, this helmet is not listed for NC.
Real shame for tourism. Read the facts and take notice of the facts.
–Steve Garn
BREW Bikes LLC
NEW ART FROM AZIERE– “The Mascot” Painted by Stefanie Aziere-Sattler, Reference Photo – Harley Davidson.
According to Harley-Davidson Legend, the Origins of H.O.G. (Harley Owners Group) are rooted in the early 1920s. Racer Ray Weishaar adopted a small pig as his unofficial mascot, his success inspired the fans to start calling his team the “hogs”.
In 1983, the Motor company used the acronym H.O.G. for the Harley Owners Group. The Human- Animal Bond is Great and Mighty, The team would parade around the track after a win with the pig. Celebrating the Victory! This is my Tribute to the great Racer Ray, The Mascot, and the Company, Harley Davidson.
Prints are pending on this painting, The Original Oil is available, For interest and comments contact:
— Stefanie Aziere-Sattler
Aziere Art
6104 Blue Jay Blvd.
Sedalia, Mo. 65301
660-221-7792
660-827-6790
www.chromedimpressions.com
FLORIDA VERTICAL TAG LAW COSTS UNSUSPECTING BIKER– Antonio Gonzales rode his customized Harley-Davidson from New Mexico to Bike Week, and then his wallet got a painful welcome from a Flagler Beach police officer — a $1,151 citation for having his bike’s license plate mounted vertically on a saddle bag.
“I rode all the way out here and all I have is 700 bucks,” Gonzales said. “Then I get a $1,151 ticket.”
Many bikers who ride customized motorcycles mount their plates vertically. ABATE, a motorcyclists advocacy group, was shocked by the new state law that took effect in the summer, said Mike Price, state legislative director for ABATE of Florida.
Price said the problem was “a very poorly written law” meant to target riders who intentionally conceal their plates, including using devices to flip the plates up out of sight. But instead it also snares people who simply mount the plates vertically, Price said.
He said ABATE has contacted the law’s originators, Rep. Carlos Lopez-Cantera, a Republican from Miami, and Sen. Rudy Garcia, a Republican from Hialeah. “Of course, they realized the error in the wording of the new law and it is our understanding that this law will be corrected during this next legislative session,” Price said.
Lopez-Cantera and Garcia could not be reached Tuesday, the opening day of the session.
Price recommends that motorcyclists take the issue to court and ask to be fined under an already existing law against vertical plates, which calls for only about a $60 fine. The Volusia County Sheriff’s Office is only issuing $91 fines for improper display of vertical plates, spokesman Brandon Haught said. He said deputies understand the $1,151 fine has to do more with concealment than improper display.
Daytona Beach police have written three or four of the $1,151 citations, a spokesman said.
Flagler Beach Police Chief Dan Cody said he thought the fine was excessive, but he added his department has cited three or four bikers with the big fine.
“Myself, I’d suggest to all these people to go to court and let the judge decide,” Cody said. “To me, it’s ridiculous.”
–By FRANK FERNANDEZ News Journal
–from Rogue
COUNTDOWN TO STURGIS AND THE CHIP– Just a friendly reminder that there is only 136 days left until the ?Best Party Anywhere? at the Legendary Buffalo Chip. The latest edition of our e-newsletter is included and for those of you who haven?t subscribed, it?s the best way to keep informed on all the major concert and special events announcements we will be making in the upcoming months and weeks leading up to the 2009 Sturgis Rally.
–Lon Nordbye
Legendary Buffalo Chip
605.347.9000
lon@legendarybuffalochip.com
STURGIS 2009 LEGENDS RIDE– Riders on the 2009 Legends Ride will find themselves on an exquisite ride that starts on the historic streets of Deadwood and tours through the beautiful scenery of the Black Hills. In 2008 the ride brought together more than 200 riders, bike builders, celebrities and sponsors from across the globe. While the 55 mile ride was a big part of the day, other details like rider gift packs, exclusive receptions and rubbing elbows with celebrities were icing on the cake.
The Legends Ride, Sturgis? premier charity event will be held Monday August 3rd in grand style. See the 2008 highlights and get registered for the 2009 Ride that Rocks online at www.LegendsRide.com. www.buffalochip.com
NEW BIKERNET STAFF HOSTESS GOES TO CHURCH FOR ST. PADDY’S DAY– An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. ‘Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.’ The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.’
Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. ‘Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve had sex with Nookie Green twice a Week for the past two months.’ This time, the priest questioned, ‘Who is This Nookie Green?’ ‘A new woman in the neighborhood,’ the sinner replied. ‘Very well,’ sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary’s.;
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous red-headed woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed Up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.
The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but enough, The priest turned To the altar boy and whispered, ‘Is that Nookie Green?’
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn’t believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, ‘No Father, I think it’s just a reflection from her shoes’
–from NICK Trumbo
Continued On Page 2
