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Bandit's Cantina Bad Joke Library Special Edition
We need some humor goddammit!
By Sam Burns
7/21/2024
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Bandit's Cantina Bad Joke Library Special Edition
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Editor’s Notes:
We’re living in strange times. Fortunately we have Sam Burns to help us through the tough times with some humor and insight. Hang On!
--Bandit
I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me $40, so I gave it to the charity shop next door. They cleaned and pressed it and put it in the window. I bought it back for $15.
· My wife and I decided to never go to bed angry. We've been awake since Tuesday.
· Someone just gave me half a peace sign. Weird.
· Growing up, we knew Dad had had enough when we heard the recliner slam down. Kids these days will never know that fear.
· My wife said: "That's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert! Doesn't it embarrass you?" I said: "No, I keep telling them it's for you."
· She said she missed me. Normally that would be good but she's reloading.
· When I was in elementary school we learned about a shape called a rhombus and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape.
· My wife and I started role-playing in the bedroom. Her favorite is The Sexy Librarian where I have to sit quietly while she reads a book.
· Being old is when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go too.
· I now know how it will all end for me, one of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their phone.
· At a wedding reception, someone yelled: "All married people please stand next to the one person that has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death.
· I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids.
· I want someone I can share my entire life with who will leave me alone most of the time.
· Yesterday I bought a world map, gave my wife a dart, and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands, I will take you on vacation." We're spending 3 weeks behind the fridge.
· As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.
--Sam Burns
Official Librarian
Bandit's Cantina Bad Joke Library
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COOL POST
Rogue
Palm Bay, FL
Sunday, July 21, 2024
Editor Response
It was fun thanks to Sam.
--Bandit
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